The Reason
by YummyYaoiSandwiches
Summary: Now that there's not going to be a new world for Pokemon, N feels he's lost his reason to keep going. Luckily, he finds a new one. Hilda/N, Oneshot. Please R&R


**Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks for clicking. Let me start by saying I'm really not familiar with Pokemon Black/White. But this was requested by iHistorian via Kidzworld. Please read and review, I'd like to know if I did all right, considering I got most of my information off Bulbapedia. Anyway, this was inspired by and written while listening to "The Reason is You" by Hoobastank. Give it a listen, eh?**

**Thanks much! On to the fic!**

A new world. A world for Pokemon. A world for his friends.

That's what he'd wanted.

That was his reason to keep going.

N leaned his head against the glass of the ferris wheel car. The humid temperature inside the ferris wheel made him sweat just slightly, and a few strands of his tea green hair stuck lightly to his forehead.

He thought back to his childhood.

He saw no other children. Only Pokemon. Injured Pokemon, calling out in the voices other people couldn't hear.

Or perhaps they refused to hear, he used to think.

Using them only as tools for their own sake, confining them to Pokeballs, forcing them to fight.

Of course he had to save them. Save his friends. Even if it meant changing the world for them.

That was always the reason.

But...

_"That was just a convenient lie that I needed to create Team Plasma. Use your head. What's to be gained from letting go of useful things like Pokémon? Certainly, manipulating Pokémon helps people expand their possibilities. That much, I can agree with. So it naturally follows that only I should be able to use Pokémon!" _

It was all a lie.

There would be no new world. His friends could not become perfect beings.

And yet...

He remembered Accumula town. Remembered her Pokemon. Remembered how it said...

It was happy.

That was when he began to grow unsure of his reason. And it only got worse and worse.

And now...

While not all humans loved their Pokemon so... even if it were possible, perhaps their was no need for a new world.

But what was he to do now?

His reason was gone. His life's goal was gone.

Perhaps, he had thought, maybe all he wanted right now, after all that had happened, was to enjoy his life with his friends.

So he left, and visited new regions. He met so many new friends. He heard their voices, and all was alright.

And he met trainers, skilled trainers. Their Pokemon were strong and healthy. And most importantly, happy. And it made N happy, too.

But something felt wrong... something was missing.

Was it his goal? His reason?

Many Pokemon really were happy with their trainers.

Wasn't that enough?

N felt... empty. The longer he travelled, the worse it became.

Some time ago, he has figured out why.

The reason was her.

The girl... the hero. The one whose Pokemon had said...

N wanted to see her again. He remembered how she treated her Pokemon. And he was so happy for that.

But even more, he remembered her face. And her hair. And her smile...

All his life, N had only wanted happiness for his friends.

Now, all he wanted was to see her. Look into her face, gaze into her eyes...

So he did.

N pulled his head away from the glass and turned to look at the girl seated next to him.

She had been looking at him. She quickly looked away.

N felt a soft pang in his heart.

She hadn't been expecting to see him.

For the longest time, he simple watched her from afar. She was facing the other way, and didn't see him.

N's heart had melted at the very sight of her. What was this feeling?

That was what he wanted... but N hadn't been able to bring himself to approach. What if she didn't want to see him? What if she was angry at him? For all that had happened? For leaving? Both?

His heart had pounded so loudly he was afraid she would hear it and notice him.

And maybe, N thought, that's what happened.

Because then she turned around. And she saw him straight away.

N didn't know what to feel. Happy? Afraid? Her beautiful face at first held surprise, before morphing into and expression N desperately wished he could read.

She kept quiet as he approached, and merely nodded when he asked if he could speak with her.

N hadn't expected her to be in Nimbasa, but he was now thankful she was. The ferris wheel was right there, and it was private, and...

It brought back memories of her.

N's eyes fell on her chocolate brown hair, which coupled with her looking the other way, effectively hid her lovely face.

His mouth went dry. What should he say?

"Hilda." He finally managed softly.

Hilda said nothing.

N gulped. Why did this have to be so difficult?

Maybe he shouldn't have come...

"Um..." N tried to get his mouth to work, but it didn't seem to want to cooperate with him.

He looked away nervously and began running a hand through his green locks.

He was about to make another attempt at speech when she stopped him.

"Where were you?"

Her voice startled him. He turned to face her and found she was looking at him now. Her face, her tone, he could read neither. His nervousness grew.

N opened his mouth, but no words came out. He clamped it shut again. He felt utterly foolish.

Her question would likely get no answer, and thankfully she didn't bother to wait for one.

"Why did you come back?"

N practically felt his heart shatter. He looked down, bangs hiding his eyes and the heartbroken look they held.

She really didn't want him to come back. She was angry with him. For leaving? For something else? But why? Had she felt the same?

No... she couldn't have.

N managed to swallow the lump forming in his throat. This time, the words came.

"I wanted to see you again."

Hilda said nothing. N didn't look up. He couldn't see her face. Her reaction.

Would she figure it out? Did her face already hold a look of disgust? Shock? A combination of both?

Neither said anything, and N couldn't bear to look up. He had no idea what to do. So, before she rejected him, or asked any more questions, he'd just try to get it all out.

"All my life..." He started in almost a whisper. "I only wanted what was best for my friends. Pokemon."

"..."

"But after all that's happened, now that there's not going to be a separate world..."

N felt himself beginning to calm down. Perhaps the talking helped. But he still couldn't face her.

"-... I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life. I had lost my reason to keep going."

"..."

"I thought, maybe all I wanted was to see my friends happy, and travel about. At least for now, until I found something else."

"..."

"I'll always love Pokemon," He said, to himself more than her now. "I'll always want to help them."

"..."

"But, now, I think I've found something else."

"..."

N's composure weakened again as he thought about what he was about to say next.

Could he back out now?

No, he decided.

"You are amazing, Hilda."

N of course didn't see, but Hilda's eyes widened.

"You're kind, and gentle. To Pokemon, and to people. You're a hero."

He smiled lightly.

"But, also... you're beautiful."

The smile grew wider.

"And smart, and just..." Words failed him.

"I've found out what I want to do now, Hilda."

H took one last deep breath. It was now or never...

"I want to be with you."

"..."

There was silence.

And more silence.

N's heart completely sank.

So that was it, then. She really didn't want him.

"I see."

"..."

"I knew I shouldn't have come." N tried as hard as he could to keep his voice from quivering. "I knew you wouldn't want me. I'm sorry to trouble you. I'll just leave-... Hurk!"

... was the approximate sound N made as something slammed into him and he fell back against the wall of the ferris wheel car.

N was surprised, but quickly began to get his bearings. He was shoved against the wall, and his hat had fallen off and...

There were arms around his neck?

That's when it hit. His senses came back full force.

Hilda was hugging him.

"Don't you ever run off like that again!"

The muffled voice sounded in N's ear. Her face was buried in his shoulder.

How...? What was she...?  
>"Of COURSE I want you!"<p>

Even through the fabric of N's shirt, he heard her loud and clear.

N couldn't... think.

She wanted him, too? But why? Does she really feel... Is she crying?

N's breath hitched and he listened carefully.

Yes... she was crying. He could feel the moisture from her tears sinking into his shirt...

"Don't leave."

N just barely managed to her the pitiful mew.

"I missed you."

It was then that everything that was happening finally sank in.

Hilda... missed him. She liked him! She really had feelings for him, too!

N's heart filled with happiness... then he also realized... she was still crying...

He straightened up and gently draped his arms around her back. She gasped slightly and finally removed her face from his shoulder, looking up into his face. Fresh tears were still running down her face, and he wiped them away gently.

"I'm so sorry, Hilda."

With little further thought, he leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek.

Hilda eyes widened again. More tears came. Her lip quivered slightly.

And before N could say anything else, she lunged forward. The arm wrapped around him tighter, and he felt soft lips crash into his.

It took him a moment to process the situation. But after he did, he couldn't help but smile.

He felt guilty, for hurting her of, of course, but..

He would fix it. He swore it.

N pushed back again her lips lightly. This seemed to surprise her. Her eyes shot open and they shared a gaze.

But then N closed his own eyes. His hand travelled down to her waist and he held her tightly. He kissed her back more forcefully.

Hilda moaned softly and returned it with everything she had.

N's smiled widened. One hand travelled upwards and began tangling itself in her chocolate brown hair.

Hilda felt a tongue gently slide across her bottom lip and she shyly opened her mouth to allow it entrance.

Their tongues danced together for a few moments, they both tightened their grips on each other.

N felt happier now than he had been in months. He was in utter bliss. And he silently promised himself, never again would he...

N's eyes popped back open as Hilda broke off their kiss abruptly.

"So..!" She hiccupped slightly. She looked... almost afraid. Her eyes were forming fresh tears, ready to fall. "Does this mean you'll stay?"

In spite of himself, N smiled. He gently took her chin in his hand and pulled her close, looking her in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes.

"Of course I'll stay."

Hilda's face shifted from shock, to delight, to slight disbelief. N kissed her gently.

"I'll never leave you again."

Hilda's closed her eyes. She felt tired all of a sudden. She laid her head down on his chest.

"You really came back for me?" She whispered. "You'll really stay for me?"

He held her tightly and rested his head on top of her's. He rubbed circles in her back with one hand and assured her gently:

"The reason is you."


End file.
